Leaving a Trail - December 21, 2015

So here's to starting out my attempt at writing.  I've never thought of myself as being very much of a writer....not much of a vocabulary...difficulty with punctuation....and organizing thoughts into a coherent framework.  But I've always loved telling stories....mainly for the ego-boosting reward of it.
But I don't think that I want to benefit my ego in writing a blog.  Writing is work and I've never been a disciplined person....so if I can't really write beyond this initial attempt...then I suppose the failure to continue might be ego deflating.  So I'm thinking that this should be about something else.

 I heard the other day about an organization which is trying to preserve everything from the Internet.  That would be quite an achievement if it's possible.  So it occurred to me that if I could write a blog ....perhaps it might be preserved in the future.

No one knows what the future holds.....well death and taxes of course.  But maybe even taxes will end one day!  So death is really the only issue to be addressed.  I don't think that I'm particularly afraid of death....intellectually I know that I will die at some point....just like all living organisms do.  Of course I'd like to prolong that day....but I know that I'll have had my "day in the sun"....and it'll be time to move on.  At one time I believed in the afterlife....but not any more.  I see no evidence of it....other that stories from centuries past and I see no reason to put my confidence in religion...as I had done when I was younger.  Over the years I've grown more skeptical about anything that can't be put through the scientific "wringer".

So dying is not the issue for me...at least it doesn't seem to be.  I have more trouble with the notion of my existence being lost to history.  I don't plan on being buried in a cemetery with a tombstone....and how much does a tombstone tell who a person was!  At present I'm 67 years old.  I'm not famous....never done anything particularly noteworthy.  I have a son....a few relatives ....and a few friends.  I know I'll never have a biography that will show up on Wikipedia and it seems that most likely in a hundred years my name and who I am/was will be forgotten to history.....probably in less time than that.   In recent years....as I've aged, I've become more interested in my family history....and I wish that I could know more about the ones I have biologically descended from.  I'm curious and just as scientists work at uncovering the past of how Homo sapiens developed......I wish I could know more about the lineage of my ancestors.   But the information is minimal and I know that there's very little I will be able to learn.  So....even at the risk of seeming to be bragging and on an "ego trip"...I want to write down in this blog some of my history, some of my stories, and some of what I am currently thinking.  Maybe in writing this blog ....and after all the elements that make up my biological being....are recycled into the web of the cosmos....there will continue to be a small memory of me ....that someone will find useful.  Maybe....